My Experiences with Bullying.

Bullying is a topic that has been in the news recently. Most recently an incident at my high school alma mater in Philippi, WV today. Whether bullying played a part in what happened today is unclear at this time, but in many cases it is a factor. Whenever such incidents occur, people ask why someone could be driven to something like this. While everyone decrys bullying most don't have experience being the recipient. I feel this is something that I can speak on more than most, it happened to me.

I never really brought to the attention of my teachers when it was happening, mostly in my middle school days. The reasons why are varied, but the main reason comes down to the idea that I considered my bullies to be friends, even though I wasn't treated as such.

The kinds of bullying I experienced varied, but included being dragged by my legs into a closet, locked in, and lights turned out because of my fear of the dark. Having my pants pulled down while standing in the lunch line. Being thrown in the showers while dressed. Having a teacher encourage others to throw dodgeballs harder at you to make you cry and toughen you up. Girls that flirt with you not due to attraction but because they know your shy and it makes you nervous. I could continue but I won't.

Nobody wants to be the one who gets others in trouble, no one likes the tattle tale we are told from a young age. So the anger and sadness builds. I was able to put a lot of my anger into video games and eventually I went to being mostly ignored by bullies. But only because easier targets existed I believe. Unfortunately for many kids the problem never stops.

But I can't say that even 20 some years later the bullying has had a lasting legacy on my life. I have trouble with any emotions that may bring me to tears because I tried to hide it so much in middle school. The ability to know who my friends are when I was bullied by those I thought my friends at a young age makes trust difficult. Building relationships with women was difficult because I never knew if they were actually interested in me.

I hope that my experience may help someone down the line. If anyone still in school reads these words, take the time to think about how your words and actions affect those around you.

Soli Deo Gloria