Restless

Ecclesiastes 3:11...he has put eternity into man's heart..

Have you ever felt like you were supposed to be doing something, you just didn't know what it was. Have you ever watched something that normally you would enjoy, but felt like you wanted to turn it off and go and do something else? Been playing your favorite video game that normally you could play for hours, this time your just not feeling your normal level of enjoyment?

I've been feeling like this a lot in the last couple of months. There are a lot of tv shows I enjoy watching on a regular basis. But a lot of times when Leann asks if I am ready to sit down and watch with her, I'm feeling pretty ambivalent about it. Leann sometimes feels like I'm not wanting to spend time with her, but in reality it has nothing to do with her. I'm just feeling like there is other things I could be doing. 

In what I am sure will come as a shock to a lot of people. I have the same feelings about sports a lot now. I still enjoy watching them, and I can sit and watch a couple of games at a time like I always do. But there not is not the life and death feeling that used to come with me missing a particular game. 

I think a lot of it has to do with now I'm watching these shows and thinking about what they say about God, or lack thereof. What kind of theology or doctrine is being presented. Even shows that have nothing to do with religion on the surface present a theology or doctrine if you take the time to think through them. For most of t.v., it is that God doesn't exist, or if he does, what he has revealed in us word is no longer relevant. 

Leann and I were watching the episode of Glee last week that dealt with the death of one of their cast members in real life. (I like musical tv shows and movies, except for Sound of Music, my sister watched it too often when i was growing up.) The episode dealt with people remembering the character, but never mentioning how the character died, in real life the actor had died of a drug overdose. While there was a lot of emotion coming from the actors who were close to the deceased. And there were moments that made me tear up, at the end I couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. But I couldn't place what I was missing until today. 

The show was missing Hope, the hope that comes for Christians who realize that this world is not the end. In one scene a character put his thumb over the dash on a memorial marking the character, separating his birth and death dates. Remarking how short that was that his thumb could cover what represented his friend's entire life. And this life is indeed short, here on earth. But humanity is not mortal, but eternal. We do not cease to exist. 

Hence there comes the restless feeling these days for me, even before that episode. As I read and study more of Christianity, theology, doctrine, the history of the faith. Heaven and the fact that everyone we meet will spend eternity somewhere, this drove Christians for centuries. What drives Christianity today? 

Furthermore what drives where we desire to spend eternity? is it where our friends, family, where the fun is? Is it the lack of pain, tears, fear? or is it the presence of the ONE who loved you before there was a you?

I don't want to be restless, I want what i do to echo throughout eternity.